Thoughts on Myself

A couple of days ago, I became very angry. Very, very angry. Full of regret, and sadness, I felt like no one in the world could ever get near to understanding the flooding emotions that drowned me over the course of a couple of minutes, and the worse part is that I wasn’t sure why.
It was the worse feeling ever, and at that moment, I decided that I wanted to change. Delete EVERYTHING about me and then replace it with an ideal me.
I wanted to be someone who didn’t complain, who didn’t care about other’s possible negative thoughts about me, someone who didn’t criticize others, and who lived life freely because life is meant to be lived.
I felt much better after a couple more minutes, but I had decided to not go back to the old me.
The next morning, when I woke up, I felt so confused. I wanted to be someone else, not a specific person, to be myself but with a couple of tweaks. At the same time, I couldn’t. It sounds easy to delete the old me and create a new me like a new user on a computer, but I tried, and I tried, and then I realized something.
I came to the realization that most of my actions are based on habits, which I have repeated for a long time. You know how people say that habits are hard to break? Well, they are! Mostly bad ones, but I still believe that I should break all those bad habits which chain me to a very negative perspective.
Here is my plan: I will get rid of all my bad habits, slowly and steadily. Then I will learn to love me for who I am, maybe I should learn to love myself now, as I am, I don’t know if I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, or what is best, so, has anyone had a similar experience? Maybe I should learn from my actions, but any contribution will be very appreciated.
Thanks, and may all of you enjoy life.

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